It’s my 52nd birthday today…
We moved to France mainly to offer Textiles and Sewing Holidays, and for me to become a “Designer-maker” again, like I used to be before I became a teacher… What I hadn’t expected, though, was for the regular sewing workshops to be so important, but right now they are the part of this adventure that I most value.
I am teaching two groups of local Englishwomen to sew – either from scratch or after a break of about 25 years… They now have just two of the eight classes left to complete, and I can’t quite remember what life was like here in France before I started running them.
I know I have taught them lots of skills because they are kind enough to tell me, and to thank me. I know I have introduced a new hobby into the lives of more than one of them, and that is such s lovely thought; that you’ve given someone something beyond the skills in the lesson you’ve devised. These workshops have been valuable for me, too, because it is my first foray into teaching adults. I’ve learned that I have to deliver the lessons differently, that they work at a different pace, and have different expectations from the students I’ve been used to. I’ve had to design new projects, projects which will specifically appeal to these women, so they are learning important skills and at the same time making useful and/or decorative items.
More than this, though… These women have taught me things, in exchange for the skills I have taught them. They have taught me that friendships can be formed out of the blue. That people I’ve never met before can be unbelievably kind, welcoming and supportive. They have taught me the true meaning of the word “community”… That life DOES continue after the death of both parents… That yes, life will never be what it was before, but that it is still a good life, something to be treasured, nurtured and celebrated; these things were lost to me, just a few weeks ago. I was feeling that really, what IS the point in anything? I was feeling despondent and lost, as if my anchor had been cast adrift. At the same time, I took for granted my own creativity… I could lose myself in my sewing… When you’re sewing, you are so focused, your mind cannot think, cannot dwell, cannot hark back to the past; you have to be in the present. I know that this is referred to as mindfulness these days, but hadn’t been aware that that was what I’ve always done, in times of stress and worry, upset and confusion. I’ve switched off and I’ve created things, resting my mind and my spirit. These women have taught me to appreciate this ability. To see, for the first time, just how much it heals me.
So now instead of feeling “What is the point in life anymore?” and wondering how I’m going to fill the time left on this beautiful planet… I now wonder, like I used to, how on earth I’m going to fit in everything I want to do…
I feel blessed, and this renewed passion for my life, my precious life, is a wonderful birthday present; thank you to my sewing class ladies!
“Sometimes when we’re suffering we feel as if we have been singled out. We wonder why God has picked on us. But my life as the rabbi of a small synagogue taught me that if that’s what we think, we are mistaken. We are never alone in our suffering. Scratch the surface of any family, any social gathering, any congregation, and you will find loss and pain there. We may not always be privy to the pain, but it is there just the same. If we had the power to peer inside the heart of any human being, we would uncover there a silent anguish.” Naomi Levy