4 Dec 2014, TEXT to a friend/colleague:
Dad died in his sleep lying next to Mum which is so lovely. I feel good about that, despite obviously also being very sad.
4 Dec 2014, EMAIL to friends and colleagues:
Just to let you know that Dad died in the early hours. He was lying next to Mum, they moved into a room together yesterday afternoon. As deaths go, the end couldn’t be better so strangely I’m feeling very calm and very happy because he was finally able to sleep peacefully holding her hand. No need to reply – I know your thoughts will be with me. You’ve both been so kind.
4 Dec 2014, EMAIL to a friend/colleague:
Lovely to hear from you. Dad died in the early hours, lying next to Mum. Mum is going into the hospice tomorrow. We are waiting right now to have her feeding tube removed. Without it, she will only live a few days. She wants to join him, and it’s ok because she is suffering, but I’m a bit shell shocked. But hopefully it will be peaceful. I really appreciate your support…
4 Dec 2014 – Email to the Head:
I wanted to let you know that my Dad died this morning. I’ve battled the NHS for two weeks and finally, last night, my parents were put in a room together and 12 hours later he died, lying next to his childhood sweetheart. I honestly believe he was waiting to be reunited with Mum. So, as deaths go, it was a good one, in the end, and in no way reflected the stresses and pain of the last few weeks; he died peacefully, in his sleep.
As for Mum.. She is going into a hospice tomorrow morning. They’ve removed her nasogastric tube so she will “fade away” as they say, within a few days. This is all incredibly hard for me, but they have done everything together for so long it seems right, also. The hope at the moment – Mum’s wish and mine – is for a joint funeral. I really hope it comes true.
I’m afraid I must therefore confirm that I won’t be back at College before the end of term. Thank you once again for all your support and for giving me this precious time. I wish you’d met my parents – they are/were very special people.
TEXTS 4 Dec 204 – 20.35:
Me: I hope you are settled and not coughing too much? Hope you feel ok? Love you so much. Big hug xxxx
Mum: Im just about go to bed now i love you too xxx
Me: Good… Night and God Bless… See you in the morning – I’ve packed the bag with the things you want. Sleep well xxxx
Mum: Night bless you thank you so much now have agood sleep xxxx
Me: You too… xxxx
4 Dec 2014 – Email to my cousin:
What a day.. A momentous day.. Your parents have been, as always, amazing support. I love R’s “last photo” of my parents and will be eternally grateful for that. Mum seems ok. She just wants to be with Dad. I just want her to stop coughing, to stop having this awful discomfort. I’ve been terrified of “how” this cancer will finally kill her. It has scared me so much, to think of her suffering. So, what is happening now IS awful, but hopefully she will have a peaceful, pain free time.
I’ve a couple of questions for you… What date does Victoria Road Chapel close? Or is it already closed? I have braved their “Funeral Plans” notebook. Difficult task. Both want to have their funeral there, and I know it holds many specials memories for them.
Also, Mum mentioned today that she would like you to read a poem at her funeral. I know its a bit premature to discuss this, but she has been talking about it and I’m reassuring her that I will make sure everything is as they both wanted. Would you be up for reading a poem do you think?
Big hug (because I need one!)
Love B xx
The life of the dead is placed in the memory of the living. – Marcus Tullius Cicero